Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
