Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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