I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
