I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
