90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
