ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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