Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
