brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
