You just made me feel so damn special
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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