i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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