She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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