I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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