Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Me. At least after what I've been through.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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