Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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