She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
