Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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