So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
