This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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