I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
