woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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