I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
