thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we made out on top of his cat.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
