is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
