yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need water and some morals
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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