Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
