I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
