the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This is my gift to your gina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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