Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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