getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
