did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
