what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
smell my finger.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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