he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
