you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
