How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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