I hate all girls vehemently.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
