I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize