Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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