Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
