Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
