awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize