she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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