Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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