I'll bet she douches with gravy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
