I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
only if we run a train.
done.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
dude. I can hear the air.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
