i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
