The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
