I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
