Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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