thus making me awesome and them whores
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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