but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
