Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
