you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
