I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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