Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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