What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
