I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize