I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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