Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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