It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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