If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
