It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
