12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
