Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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