And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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