We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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