I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
