He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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