Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
