OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
