Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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