Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
